Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

'I feel for Jackson': Tigers' Jobe out for season with elbow surgery - The Detroit News

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why are there so many girls and not enough boys to follow?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How did you as a human being change while growing up?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Simple blood test detects cancer before symptoms appear - Earth.com

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do people hate on Serena (anime character)? What did she ever do to anyone except be a good friend to Ash Ketchum and an awesome trainer herself?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I'm straight, so why do I love watching guys cum?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Eating green bananas can lower your risk of cancer by over 60% - The Brighter Side of News

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do American conservatives say that America is a constitutional republic and not a democracy? Would it not make sense to call America a constitutional republican democracy?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags